life as usual

Since the last incident with E, things have been better but still very edgy. There are so many things to consider in all situations, I get all exhausted. All the kids are home now since its summer, and right now its also very hot. My kids are, on top of everything else, very sensitive to heat, and that fact causes them to crash several times a day.

H had his last day at his beloved daycare woman this friday, and we gave her presents and she had asmall party with ice cream and all. She also had presents for H, things he can have in school, and a water gun. He was so happy.
P has really been on the egde, he is happy to be out of school, and that is good, but he has so much sadness and frustration within himself that he gets some real troublesome behavior. He teases hs brothers until they beat him up, and he does it again and again. I am trying to spend time with him as much as I can, and right now we are watching Star War movies in the evenings when I am putting him to bed and he is so happy about that.

E on the other hand, is as always the biggest problem. He is contantly telling us that we don't care about him, and we lie to him every day. And in his mind, that is the truth. It hurts me more than I can tell in words that my son feels this way, and yet I know that it is not really him talking, it is the diagnose in combination with the fact that he is soon going to be a teenager. But still, when I think of how sad and lonely he must feel, and how he never believes me when I tell him I love him, it just makes me cry inside. I know he is happy sometimes though, and when he is at his best, I think he knows I love him.. but that is not often.

Right now the kids have actually been playing together for a day or so, they are using a sort of bug system, with transparent tubes and all, that you can put ants and other bugs in and study them. Usually those kids run screaming from all sorts or insects, but right now they happily collect ants and things and puts them in teh tube system.

I hope all of you will have a good summer, and that your kids are not creating to much problems for you.

Today E jumped off the boat when we were out on the sea. He was mad at us and wanted to die. We got him up, but P and H are probably scarred for life..
I don't feel so good..

Today E smashed his schools phone in the ground completely destroying it. He then wrote on our car window with a rock and scrathed another window. He was mad at me.
Why you ask?
Because when I was to fetch him at school, I said that I had to put some groceries away first, since I had just been shopping.......
Replacing the two car windows will cost us a minimum of 4700 sek... or... up to 15000 sek, depending on what the insurance company say..


I don't know if I can continue this blog, there is just too much going on with all these kids....