life as usual

Since the last incident with E, things have been better but still very edgy. There are so many things to consider in all situations, I get all exhausted. All the kids are home now since its summer, and right now its also very hot. My kids are, on top of everything else, very sensitive to heat, and that fact causes them to crash several times a day.

H had his last day at his beloved daycare woman this friday, and we gave her presents and she had asmall party with ice cream and all. She also had presents for H, things he can have in school, and a water gun. He was so happy.
P has really been on the egde, he is happy to be out of school, and that is good, but he has so much sadness and frustration within himself that he gets some real troublesome behavior. He teases hs brothers until they beat him up, and he does it again and again. I am trying to spend time with him as much as I can, and right now we are watching Star War movies in the evenings when I am putting him to bed and he is so happy about that.

E on the other hand, is as always the biggest problem. He is contantly telling us that we don't care about him, and we lie to him every day. And in his mind, that is the truth. It hurts me more than I can tell in words that my son feels this way, and yet I know that it is not really him talking, it is the diagnose in combination with the fact that he is soon going to be a teenager. But still, when I think of how sad and lonely he must feel, and how he never believes me when I tell him I love him, it just makes me cry inside. I know he is happy sometimes though, and when he is at his best, I think he knows I love him.. but that is not often.

Right now the kids have actually been playing together for a day or so, they are using a sort of bug system, with transparent tubes and all, that you can put ants and other bugs in and study them. Usually those kids run screaming from all sorts or insects, but right now they happily collect ants and things and puts them in teh tube system.

I hope all of you will have a good summer, and that your kids are not creating to much problems for you.

Today E jumped off the boat when we were out on the sea. He was mad at us and wanted to die. We got him up, but P and H are probably scarred for life..
I don't feel so good..

Today E smashed his schools phone in the ground completely destroying it. He then wrote on our car window with a rock and scrathed another window. He was mad at me.
Why you ask?
Because when I was to fetch him at school, I said that I had to put some groceries away first, since I had just been shopping.......
Replacing the two car windows will cost us a minimum of 4700 sek... or... up to 15000 sek, depending on what the insurance company say..


I don't know if I can continue this blog, there is just too much going on with all these kids....

The good period disappered one day after I wrote about it... then chair flew in the air again. Now we are trying a new medication and slowly getting the summer panic going...

Right now E is currently having a better period (of course, I probably destroy that just by writing about it...).
It takes of our energy though, and of the already non existent time for the other kids.. We have to curl, curl, curl and curl even more. Not in big things, but to smooth it out. And our evenings are even more like a fucking parental bootcamp everytime. Schedules and rules, everything in its order, not a second to breeth in between, always bad conscience for the other boys, especially P.

One good thing though, we got a organizing white board from the HAB unit. It has a clock, and it measures and displays time. Day time and night time separately. It can have magnetic pics on it, and we can write on it. It will hopefully help a lot.

Food... not an easy thing

Many of E's problems comes from the fact that he doesn't eat very well. He eats only crappy food, and sugar and so.
Today he once again came home early from school, due to headach, tiredness and stomach pains.

What do you do?????

a lot has happened

I haven't had time to write, but I will start filling in the blanks..

We left Legoland one day early, driving from the hotel at 20.00 in the evening since E was once again throwing a fit.. he screamed, rambled around and tried to escape. The other two was crying. We realised that we couldn't stay where we were, we were getting afraid that someone would call the police..
We drove to Sweden, and gave the kids (mostly E) a little something from MCdonalds on the way. Fot those who gasp in shock when reading that I can only say; shut up, you were not there.
Anyway, we got to a hotel in Malmö, slept, and went home the next morning.

Since then, E has only been worse. We can no longer always see the reason for his outbreaks, like a lack of food or so. At some occations everything has been fine, he has eaten, is rested etc, and he still blows. We got some advice form the specialists here, to let him be when he starts rambling about, to let him break smaller things even, so he gets used to that we do not always come running. That resulted in a chair almost flying through a closed window..
A couple of days later, the same chair flew down the stairs and smashed on the floor.

So much to write, so little time...